Just when you thought it was safe to go to the voting booths again. Here it is...The Hopelessly Partisan Guide to American Politics! Get the lowdown from veteran pollsters Ken Berwitz (self-righteous, corporate-friendly conservative) and Barry Sinrod (bleeding heart, welfare-state liberal) as they survey America's Republicans and Democrats on such weighty subjects as:

• Which is better? Giving gifts or getting them?
• How many times a week do you have sex?
• Is it more important to be smarter or more popular?
• What is the best time of the day to have sex?

Needless to say, when the results come in, Ken and Barry can't seem to see eye to eye on what any of it means. The debate will get heated. And while their commentary may not divide the nation, it's guaranteed to split a few sides.